Evan Esar Humorous Quotes | Famous Quotes | Quotes | Techfunky.com

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration and
inspiration.
– Evan Esar

 

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with
outer space, and the mother with closet space.
– Evan Esar

America believes in education: The average professor earns more money in a year than a
professional athlete earns in a whole week.
– Evan Esar

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
– Evan Esar

A signature always reveals a man’s character – and sometimes even his name.
– Evan Esar

If you can’t bear to have your face stepped on, don’t try to climb the ladder of success.
– Evan Esar

Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.
– Evan Esar

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
– Evan Esar

A husband is like a fire – he goes out when unattended.
– Evan Esar

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
– Evan Esar

The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn’t trying to reform her husband.
– Evan Esar

Footprints on the sands of time will never be made sitting down.
– Evan Esar

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than
if you spoke right out at once.
– Evan Esar

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
– Evan Esar

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
– Evan Esar

Never trust a woman who tells you her real age – she’s liable to tell you the truth about
anything.
– Evan Esar

Women are like dog poop. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
– Evan Esar

Character is what you have left when you’ve lost everything you can lose.
– Evan Esar

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
– Evan Esar

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in this world that just don’t
add up.
– Evan Esar

Some people have no respect for age unless it’s bottled.
– Evan Esar

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you
know what you’re talking about.
– Evan Esar

Men still die with their boots on, but usually one boot is on the accelerator.
– Evan Esar

Attic: A place where you keep something for ten yers and then throw it away just two weeks
before you need it.
– Evan Esar

Canada’s climate is nine months of winter and three months late in the fall.
– Evan Esar

A husband may forget where he went on his honeymoon, but he never forgets why.
– Evan Esar

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
– Evan Esar

A biography is a book that is usually written about a dead person because it is so unlike him
when he was alive.
– Evan Esar

The man who has a girl in every port is not a sailor but a wholesaler.
– Evan Esar

Walking isn’t a lost art; one must, by some means, get to the garage.
– Evan Esar

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it
all over the highway.
– Evan Esar

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
– Evan Esar

A man doesn’t have vacation problems: His boss tells him when to take them, and his wife
tells him where.
– Evan Esar

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
– Evan Esar

Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it
all away from him.
– Evan Esar

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
– Evan Esar

This Article is Posted on 07 Apr 2015 in Informative Section and Quotes